I miss you. I miss you a lot. And the space between us hurts more than you can ever imagine. I’m trying to be the secure man that you are, or what I assume you are. A man that can be in his own skin when he’s down and is able to be by himself. A man that doesn’t need someone to console him when life gets rough. But honestly and truly deep down, I can’t. I am unbelievably unable to do so. You see, I do need someone. I need someone to hold me. I need someone to reassure me that everything is fine and that I will get through these rough times. Because life is becoming rough. And the silence only continues to sharpen the knife that is slowly killing me inside. So yes, I miss you. I miss you because you’re the person I want to run to and hug and talk to about this shitshow of my life. I miss you because you’re the face I want to see when life sucks. Because you make me forget about what that is like. You make me forget and suddenly I am the happiest man in the world. Because suddenly, everything makes sense and it’s just you and I standing face to face in each others grasp, until we’re not. And I’m faced with the sudden wind of reality. The reality that we’re not gonna be with each other alot, at least for right now. And I hate that I did this to myself. You are much older than me, have other people to take care of, and we’re 80 miles apart. And I sit here and pretend that everything is fine but deep down, the circumstances that we are facing is tearing me apart. I’m dying inside because I decided that I wanted to like you, and I really really do like you. I like you so much and all I can think about is cuddling up next to you and watching all the movies that remind me of you. I like you so much and all I can think of are those future planned trips that we have not done yet. I like you so much and all I can think of are those hiking spots you said you’d take me and you actually did. I like you so much and all I can think about is that beautiful first kiss we shared in the backyard of your friend’s house under the night sky. And that’s when I realized that I felt safe with you. In your grasp, with our lips intertwined, with that whisper telling me how much you enjoyed the day. And then you kissed me on the cheek and all the pieces fell perfectly in place. That was the last romantic hug I shared in 2025. That was the last kiss I had in 2025. That was the last time I saw you. And I want you to be my first in this new year. (And you were). You likely won’t read this but if you do, there’s one thing I really really want to to tell you. I miss you. I miss you alot. And I really hope to see you soon.